As you all, I hope, know by now, by Friday you have to submit a hard copy of five of the paragraphs you have written for this blog.
For Wednesday, please submit one of them here. Choose one of the paragraphs you are planning to submit on Friday and revise and edit it to the best of your ability. Show me the best work you are capable of.
As usual, get the paragraph posted by Tuesday at 5 PM. Then bring a hard copy to class so that we can do our peer-revision workshop.
Also, please note: I have been asked by the University for retention purposes to submit the names of students who have not completed assignments or who have missed a significant number of classes. If you are missing any of the blog assignments, you'd better get cracking. I intend to wait until the deadline (Wednesday, February 10) to submit names.
Savon Banks
ReplyDeletePA #2 REVISION
While interviewing Isamu, I learned a lot about him. He gave many heart filled answers and deep truthful stories and reasons as to why he felt the way he felt about certain things. There is however, one comment that Isamu said that still resonates with me even to this day. When asked about how playing basketball changed his life both on and off the court, his response could have been the typical: "This helped prepare me for a job" totally opposite he gave me a completely different response than what I was expecting he looks at me sternly and then responds with: " you know, being on a team did way more than just prepare me for the real world it also help me bond, improve upon my communication skills as well as be able to take constructive criticism really well." This will forever be enshrined in my mental bank as one of the most profound things that someone has ever said.
PA#4 Revision
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons why Truman is considered so highly is because he was very successful in his domestic policies and he set many precedents, such as: being the forefront leader in civil rights and starting the Fair Deal. Truman is heavily scrutinized for these policies enacted because people wanted answers at the end of World War II and not a long-term plan. Despite the criticism of most Americans, Truman led a historic change of progressing the nation into advocating for civil rights. Furthermore, in Truman’s second term, He started the Fair Deal. This policy would carryout his predecessor Franklin Roosevelt’s policy. The Fair Deal was focused on “an increase in the minimum wage, expansion of the Social Security program, a housing bill, national health insurance, liberalized immigration laws, and ambitious civil rights legislation for African-Americans” (Alonzo Hamby).
PA #1 Revised
ReplyDeleteStudents at Ohio Wesleyan University come from various backgrounds and have different personalities, but they all have a similar goal—earn a college education and degree. The school prides itself on its diverse student body, which consists of students from 43 different states and 33 different countries, according to the university’s website. While students take different courses and expand their liberal arts education, they explore their future career interests. In doing so, they look to their professors for guidance and inspiration. One of the most popular departments at Ohio Wesleyan is the biological and biomedical sciences, with majors ranging from botany to biomedical engineering to neuroscience. Compared to the wide range of students and majors, the professors and faculty members do not seem to be as diverse. Among the faculty members in the prestigious science department, there are only three who are Asian. And the rest are Caucasian. This creates a problem amidst students who come from different backgrounds, compared to their professors. Many students have complained about this situation because they are left without a mentor who can relate to them culturally and emotionally. Ultimately, this lack of racially diverse faculty members who instruct a wide group of students discourages students from pursuing highly distinguished careers in the science fields.
PA#3 Revised
ReplyDelete“You throw like a girl” is just one of many phrases heard on the daily by people who believe that gender defines someone. When reading this comment, I wouldn’t think of throwing like a girl as a bad thing, but the comment is meant to be derogatory. Knowing the negative connotation that goes with the quote, people associate a bad, weak, embarrassing throw as a “girl throw”. Derogatory comments towards women are not just made at women in the sporting world, but also the work environment and are associated with everyday tasks. Lots of people, even including some women embrace these stereotypes by encouraging the thought that there are some jobs that are really only for men. Jobs that include physical labor and strength are thought of as jobs for men, and jobs such as cooking and raising children, are thought of as women's jobs. Sports are another place in life where men are thought to be superior to woman and more “fit” for. For the truth is women are just as capable to perform physical tasks as men are, as well as play sports as successfully as men. Women should not be held back because of these brute, meaningless, thoughts. In this essay, then, women will be seen as equals, in the work environment, sports, and in everyday life activities.
Paragraph 1 Revision
ReplyDeleteWhen first choosing to attend Ohio Wesleyan University, I saw all of the positive aspects that make this place great. After spending a semester here, I have realized there are many things that need to be fixed, but one of the most obvious problems is the lack of parking at the dorms. Many students that go to Ohio Wesleyan come from all over and are very far away from home and do not have family that live near campus. A car is necessity for these students to be able to function and not be isolated to just the Ohio Wesleyan campus. At Smith Hall, one of the larger dorms on campus, there are a very limited number of parking spaces. The spaces themselves are barely large enough to fit a mid sized vehicle without having to let the car door hit the car next to it to squeeze out. If you arrive back to the dorm any later than 7 o’clock at night, you have no chance of finding a spot. You have to resort to driving around until you finally settle for making your own make-shift spot. Once parked in the spot that isn’t affecting traffic or putting anyone or anything in harm you will come out later to find a ticket waiting for you tucked under your windshield wiper. It is a massive issue for students who already pay so much to come here.
Paragraph 3 revision
ReplyDeleteThe coined term “field fairies” has been used for soccer players by many other people from many different sports. When people think of soccer players, they immediately think of people twirling like ballerinas around the field and falling on the ground in pain every time one little piece of their body is touched. Although, These are all stereotypes that do not give soccer players some of the justice they deserve and although many of the soccer players do have some of these tendencies, not every soccer player, and in fact most soccer players do not have this kind of behavior. On the contrary, these so called “ballerinas”, actually have to work hard to become fit, and lift just as hard to improve muscular endurance to stay on the soccer field and prevent injuries. The truth of the matter is, soccer is a vigorous sport and it can be seen as one through the eyes of the fans and the players who truly respect the game, and although some players use it as motivation, some see it as a sign of weakness in the sport. In this essay, then, soccer can be seen to be physically demanding sport based upon how fit a soccer player has to be, some of the major injuries that could take place, and the physical toll taken on a soccer player over a span of a few games.
PA 1 REVISION
ReplyDeleteOhio Wesleyan is normally a campus that is easy to walk, but when it snowed for the first time, it was difficult. The snow removal was very poor. There was snow covering most of the staircases around campus. The steps in front of Bashford Hall were covered the entire day. People slipped and fell due to the amount of snow that was not removed. Sandusky Street was also difficult to cross. There were piles of sludge and snow where students cross the street. The Jaywalk and sidewalks were also difficult for students. Only a sliver of the Jaywalk was clear of snow. The sidewalks were covered early in the morning, causing difficulty for students with morning classes.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteParagraph #4 Revision
ReplyDeleteWomen are equally successful in the political realm as men because of their diplomatic nature. Men often complain that women do not make good politicians because they are too emotionally involved, therefore, not tough enough. However, emotions may turn into a strength for women because it allows women to make rational decisions and understand the ways that political decisions impact minority groups. Furthermore, female politicians utilize strength, reason, negotiation, and compromise in making political maneuvers. For instance, Malala Yousafzai, a young political activist and aspiring politician, has impacted the world in a revolutionary way. She advocates for women’s rights to education despite being shot and threatened by the Taliban. Yousafzai takes immense risks for what she values, radiates confidence, and advocates in peaceful manners; her political leadership is recognized through her reward of the Nobel Peace Prize. Yousafzai’s strength and diplomacy are best demonstrated when she says, “They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed. And out of that silence came thousands of voices. The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions. But nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.”
Paragraph #4 Revision
ReplyDeleteBy the associative power of the human mind, the word 'Communism' triggers images of cult of personality leaders, huge militaries, agrarian economies, gulags and nuclear threats. It is rightly seen as an atheistic doctrine but wrongly equated as being amoral or immoral. However, people don't realize that the root word of Communism is 'Commune', from communal masses associated with the Christian tradition. By this spirit, Communism is about building communities that take care of each other. Lenin, one of the fathers of this doctrine, made his name during the First World War around Europe by writing on pacifism and futility of war - therefore, the Bolshevik revolution should no longer be seen as war created to satisfy war-mongering sociopaths but as a war necessary to get rid of old machinery that had fought the first great war meaninglessly. Furthermore, the idea of cult of personality made famous by the statues of the Kims In Pyongyang, Mao's portrait at Tiananmen square and Stalin renaming Volgograd Stalingrad are isolated examples made by the ignorant, the battle cry of all Communists is "Equality"; there isn't any doctrine other than this that promises that everyone is allowed equal access and opportunity to life.
Paragraph #9 Revision
ReplyDeleteTorture is almost universally deplored, but Amnesty International reports between 2009 and 2013, there were only 141 reported cases of torture. These 141 cases ranged from about 3/4ths of the countries in the world. In Mirko Bagaric and Julie Clarke’s, “Torture:When the Unthinkable is Morally Permissible,” Bagaric and Clarke dispute the moral justifications of torturing another human being. Bagaric and Clarke bring forth a lot of facts and reasons for justifying torture. One of those reasons provides an analogy to a hostage situation where a gunman is holding someone captive. Police are now allowed permission to shoot and kill the gunman for the greater good of saving the innocent hostage. Bagaric and Clarke believe this is a just reason for torture in this situation. From here, Bagaric and Clarke refute multiple counterarguments of torture. The first counterargument is that torture will open the floodgates for more moral injustice and violence. The second counterargument is that torture will “dehumanize society” (Bagaric, 198). The third and final counterargument made is that no person can ever be positive that torture will actually result in saving an innocent life. Bagaric and Clarke provided refutations to all the counterargument claims, and this solidifies the legitimacy of their arguments. Bagaric and Clarke conclude their essay by enforcing their idea that with the current society, there is no way torture can be considered dehumanizing because it is already considered acceptable and there is no changing that.
On the residential side of campus, especially in Bashford hall, the school wide wifi network known as “bishopnet” is extremely poor. The problem is that I have encountered is not the strength of the Internet, but the fact that I am unable to stay connected to the network for an extended amount of time. This problem occurs with both my laptop and my Iphone. It’s not a huge issue, but it’s something that gets quite irritating after a while. It is a nuisance to continuously have to connect to the network and then be disconnected again and again. Already during this semester, I have encountered this issue while doing schoolwork. I was trying to do some reading for my Biology class online, but I kept getting disconnected so I was not able to load my readings. Eventually, I was able to stay connected long enough to finish my work, but it took longer than it should have because of the bad connection in my room. When using my phone, I also get disconnected periodically. As a result, I end up using my data for the month, and sometimes I even end up running over the limited data I have, adding extra charges to the phone bill at the end of the month.
ReplyDeleteNothing in this world is perfect. Ohio Wesleyan University is not an exception to this rule. As a person who lived his whole life in the warm and sunny weather of the Mediterranean sea, the weather I came across in Delaware Ohio was the biggest problem I had to face. Back home, where the weather never drops below 35 degrees Fahrenheit, it was hard for me to imagine this feeling. Before this winter, the only place I had seen people wearing big furry jackets, beanies, boots and scarves was on television. I am used to spending my day mostly outside and now I regret the times I take the decision to get out of Bashford Hall. But even though sometimes I feel caged in, I feel like it is a blessing for someone to be in a school where that is its biggest problem.
ReplyDeleteParagraph #7 Revision
ReplyDeleteIn “What Our Education System Needs Is More F’s,” Carl Singleton advocates that instituting merit raises, changing policies to the basics, joining the university to industry, and other recommendations will not achieve measurable success in restoring quality to American education, until something more basic is returned to practice. He suggests dispensing F’s for failing grades that would, “dramatically, emphatically, and immediately force into the open every major issue related to the inadequacies of American education” (Singleton). A common practice by our education system is the habit of giving passing grades to those who do not deserve it or do not fully understand the material, thus makes a domino effect from prekindergarten through post-Ph.D. and through the next generations. By giving F’s to the students who did not learn the required material, we dramatically stop the chain reaction of our deteriorating grading system. He also implores “sending students home with final grades of F would force most parents to deal with the realities of their children's failure while it is happening and when it is yet possible to do something about it” (Singleton). As long as the teacher’s job is done correctly, the responsibility will not go home to the parents, where it belongs. The result of giving F’s where it is well deserved would be immediately evident; students in every grade level would meet all the requirements such as illiteracy or borderline grades. Although Singleton knows that giving F’s will solve all of the failing education system, but it would aid the progress towards improving education.
Paragraph 1 Revision
ReplyDeleteAfter a long morning of classes, students stop by one of the most popular place to eat on campus, the Hamilton-Williams Campus Center or “Hamwill” as its known. Hamwill supplies hungry college students with all the nutrients that growing, young adults need. As well as the sweets that these growing adults were not allowed to eat at home. With new editions to the menu everyday, starving young adults never have to eat the same meal two days in a row. Everything from salads, to a whole chicken dinner, Hawill does not disappoint. After you have obtained your fresh meal you start the most problematic procedure on campus, checkout. With close to fifty people in Hamwill at one time, and only two or three cashiers, this process can take up a good chunk of your well earned lunch time. By the time you have purchased your food and picked the perfect place to sit, your food is now cold. This issue can easily be solved by one simple method, staff more cashiers. There are plenty of students looking for a way to put some extra spending cash in their pockets. The simplest solution is to hire students to work during the lunch and dinner hour when Hamwill is busiest.
In this distinguished liberal art college that is Ohio Wesleyan University, everyone is capable to freedom of education and to enjoyment of living in “home away from home.” We couldn’t have composed and maintained this high level of college life for every student here without the generosity of our dedicated OWU alumni. Though appreciating the astonishing effort that alumni had put forth to create and to better the opportunity for current students, I believe that we need numerous improvements regarding alumni relations. Because of improper alumni relations, we have the impractical labyrinth built instead of some more useful appropriations. Being an upperclassman and former member of the student government, I totally understand the touching background story and the intention of such donation by the alumna’s family. But the wonderful idea behind it does not outweigh the impracticality. Alumni must understand that students would be more thankful and appreciative if such large sum of donation could go towards dorms to improve living condition or appropriate this donation into a scholarship in name of the alumna, so it would be more beneficial consider the current financial situation of the university. My friend, whom is an OWU Phone-A-Phon caller, told me that they have tried to persuade the alumna’s family into appropriating the donation in some other form, but the family was very insisted. Which leads me to wonder, what if there were authorities that were able to speak with them instead of student workers? In the world where seniority does matters, an adult with authority is definitely persuasive. I wouldn’t see why the family wouldn’t change their mind when there are valid points and right speakers. To fully justify my point, I must point out that this is just one of many donation misappropriations. Of many due to the fact that we often like to report only good process to alumni instead of things that we actually need to be improve on. I recognize that we have the board of trustees here to help with campus improvements, but this is only a small group of alumni. We must reach out to the broader population of donors about our needs in order to be precise in improvement. Therefore I believe that we need better alumni relations to improve this university for the better.
ReplyDeleteParagraph 1 revision-
ReplyDeleteOhio Wesleyan has a beautiful campus located in quaint Delaware, Ohio. It has many favorable attributes such as its diverse student body but has some issues that make success in such an academically rigorous environment difficult. Specifically, Ohio Wesleyan has slow wifi connection. The problem is when students try to use the internet they are unable to do so because the browser is either extremely slow or won’t load. This causes students to be unable to do necessary school related work for which they need access to a functioning internet connection. For instance, once, when I was attempting to complete my online chemistry homework I was unable to submit my answers on time due to poor wifi connection and received a zero for that assignment.
As a freshman who has not had the time to observe every aspect of the campus grounds, I have come to notice that there is a slight problem with the campus. That is the snow management process. Obviously Ohio, along with the rest of the midwest, is known to have a cold, snowy winter. Upon returning to campus from winter break, we were welcomed with a few inches of snow. I, along with other students here, would have expected the pathways to be cleared and salted. Instead, we were faced with a challenging trek of snow and ice anywhere we wanted to go. I think that the school should be more prepared about the snow. It is very easy to plow the roads and walkways. All it takes is a little effort but I feel as if the groundskeepers are too busy worrying about the beautification of the campus.
ReplyDeleteIt is my personal opinion that dyslexic students have an equal amount of potential to becoming successful, same as any other student. Students labeled as dyslexic are commonly ostracized by their teachers and fellow peers as incompetent. Due to their struggle with reading, spelling, and writing, their potential is often undermined. However, given the proper accommodations, these students flourish in subject areas deemed to challenging for them to comprehend. Many of these accommodations are quite simple, and require very little effort to make available to dyslexic students. Technological advancements such as spell check and speech to text have made it possible for dyslexic students to over come their learning deficits. Providing them with additional time when taking exams has also proven to be of great help. Dyslexia is not a factor in determining someone’s intelligence. It does not make one more or less intelligent. It simply forces those who are affected by it to find different methods to learn and process information. People in education should strive to make this possible by offering the accommodations that were previously mentioned. By doing so, the process of finding the different methods of learning and processing information will be a far less strenuous task for students with dyslexia. “Dyslexia is not a pigeonhole to say you can’t do anything. It is an opportunity and possibility to learn differently.” (Her Royal Highness Princess Beatrice Elisabeth Mary of York)
ReplyDeleteIn their essay called “Torture: When the Unthinkable Is Morally Permissible,” Bagaric and Clarke claim that torturing the offenders in circumstances where innocent people’s lives are at risk is just, thus morally permissible. They believe that by considering as if torture should be taboo, the society calls for injustice and unbearable suffering and puts offender’s right before that of the innocent. They also refute a claim that torture dehumanizes the society by stating that the ones who are responsible for dehumanization of society are the perpetrator. Moreover, they disagree with the idea that the use of torture will increase and will be abused once allowed, implying that torture is not governed by justification in any event. In response to the voice suspecting effectiveness of torture, they assert that the risk of uncertainty is inevitable.
ReplyDeleteWhen viewing the concept of grades it is simple to see the motivation for a high GPA in terms of earning a job. Some employers may hire one just because he/she has a higher GPA than the next candidate. On the contrary however, there are many instances where some employers simply aren’t interested in that. As a matter of fact, it can be inflated due to some of the other extracurricular classes they might have taken. There could be many instances where a student is hired over another despite the lower GPA. He/she could also be preoccupied with other things in his/her life such as sports or clubs. Dan Black, the director of recruiting for the Americas at professional services giant Ernst & Young, says he is always looking for people who can juggle multiple responsibilities. (Adams 2013). We mustn’t fall under the trap of trying to earn that perfect 4.0, instead, we should focus on becoming better-rounded as students and becoming versatile.
ReplyDeleteTorture is a brutal technique used to make people suffer slowly. First they might do this to get a point across or to get information from a person they may need. Some may say Torture is okay if it’s helping the whole at the end of the day to maybe save a life, “Torture: When the Unthinkable is Morally Permissible,” authors Julie Clarke and Mirko Bagaric said in the text. Another point the authors try and get across that torture can be used as “self-defense”. In the text it even said “the right to self-defense, which of course extends to the defense of another.” The authors think that torture is not morally wrong at all. For example the author seems like they want to legalize torture. The government uses way worser things then torture now. For example the electric chair. They think in making torture legal will reduce the use of it. The last point made in this argument is torture may dehumanize society. They think “Allowing innocent people to be killed does not dehumanize society.” The underlying principle of this short story is that torture is okay if it saves lives of the innocent.
ReplyDeleteNot many people get the opportunity to get to see the sites of the world, but for Soraya Dehkordi she is fortunate enough to experience the different variety of cultures. She has traveled to countries like Italy, France, Germany, Iran, Turkey, England, Norway, Switzerland, Poland, Austria, Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, and Saudi Arabia. Soraya has traveled to more countries, than she has in the United States. Traveling has always been second nature to her, because of her dad who has inspired her love for traveling. Her passion for traveling is due to observing all the different environments, and cultures she gets to learn by visiting a variety of countries. “Every place she goes she feels when she leaves she takes a piece with her ”Two countries that stood out to her the most were Germany, and Iran. She fell in love for Germany for their architecture, culture, and language. Which she ended up getting certified in German, by the German embassy. Iran came natural for her to love, because she was born there, and is apart of who she is.
ReplyDeletePA#6 REVISED
ReplyDeleteOur group decided to write about the spirits that creep the hallways upon us all. Students all over campus talk about the spirits and ghost tales I don't have any doubts about the story's, Ohio Wesleyan university is a very old school. Ohio Wesleyan university has been around for a very long time now, established on March 7, 1848 Ohio Wesleyan was founded in Delaware Ohio. Nobody really knows what goes on at night in the creepy hallways.what we will be finding out, is experienced people who have had encounters with spirits while attending Ohio Wesleyan university. You will be surprised about what you will learn after reading my group and I wiki, stay tuned.
Lamar Dumas.
Paragraph #3 Revised
ReplyDeleteNew Yorkers are seen as a group of people who are self-centered, rushed, and rude. People all over the United States judge New Yorkers as money-hungry robots who will shove you on the sidewalk and skip out on a “casual hello.” However, the people of New York do not intend to give off this un-welcoming vibe, as they are just acting to acclimate to their surroundings. Being raised in New York City is much more than learning to walk quickly and avoid eye contact, but rather to focus on your own well being to be as successful as possible. However, wealth is not the only factor of importance, because New York City is a place that is also filled with culture, art, and humble people. An example that truly demonstrates New York natives is the Facebook page, “Humans of New York.” This page includes hundreds of photographs of people of difference cultures, wealth and life experiences as well as a caption explaining what makes them unique, hardship they had experienced or an inspiring love story. Once you are able to look past the stereotypes and admire the true melting pot of Manhattan, you are able to emerge yourself in all the amazing opportunities and experiences the Big Apple has to offer.
PA #3 Revision
ReplyDeleteThere are those that say Facebook and other social media influences aren’t distracting to today’s youth. Some evidence that is used to support this would be the constant rise of new social media. Whenever one social media outlet dies another rises in it’s place, for example MySpace to Facebook. Another key point of evidence would be the rise and advances in the way we browse social media. As we go further into 2016, the advances in technology will only bring further advancement to social media. However, both those points are very easily countered. First off, while social media sites are known to experience rebirth, social media is getting closer and closer to merging with real life. Social media sites that are on the rise are Snapchat, YikYak, and Periscope. All three of these social media outlets are very personal and require the user to have very personal contact with the person they are connecting with. The evolution of the social network is actually bringing their user base closer together and that causes more real world interaction. Secondly, with a rise in technology that is smaller and more minimalist, soon the entire process will become a literal part of us. Advances like Google Glass are striving to bring social media and real life interaction together, leading to less time in front of a computer and more time experiencing the new digital reality that we are being brought towards.
PA #1 Revision
ReplyDeleteAs I sit on my bed using my computer, I begin to relax with my daily Netflix binge after finishing my work for the night. I then realize that because of the terrible wifi Ohio Wesleyan has, it takes a lot longer for me to relax when all I see is the video buffering. I am not a patient person and having to deal with BishopNet does not help in that aspect when all I want to do is relax and watch my favorite shows. I am not the only one who feels this way. When my friends are I are eating lunch we even sometimes talk about how the wifi cuts out during the middle of the day when it is most needed. When I came to Ohio Wesleyan I did not expect to have to use my cellular data to search the web and research for my classes because my computer cannot connect to BishopNet. During the last semester the wifi cut out on me in very crucial times. Towards the end of the semester I was researching for an economics paper and right in the middle of my research, the wifi just stopped working for my computer. I sat looking at a screen that said, “Sorry can’t find a wireless connection,” for about thirty minutes until it finally came back to life. The wifi is and has been a huge problem at this school from what I have heard, and I believe at some point the school must fix the only wireless connection us students have access too on campus.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete